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  At least, that was the plan. Every time she seemed ready to break down those walls, John called and kicked her confidence in the teeth. Afterward, she would retreat into a polite facade and keep everyone but Simon away. Every time. It was uncanny.

  He wondered what the idiot had said this time. Judging from the several times Simon had confided in Hunter about John’s comments, it couldn’t be good. Normally Hunter would back off and give her time, but something about the way she looked today drew him closer. Maybe it was time he tried the direct approach.

  “So.” His voice was casual as he turned his wine glass on the table. “You spoke with your ex-husband today.”

  Alex’s eyes widened. The surprise in them was a punch in his gut. Could she really be shocked someone paid attention enough to know her moods?

  “How do you know?”

  He smiled gently. If she talked about it, she would make her own conclusions about John’s manipulation attempts. “I know you well enough by now. I can see you’re upset. Call it an educated guess. What did he say?”

  She shrugged and turned away. He resisted the urge to pull Alex to her feet and hold her until the haunted look was gone. Instead, he leaned forward, rested his forearms on the table and dipped his head to catch her stare again.

  “You can tell me,” he said, so softly he could hardly hear himself.

  She leaned forward, not quite meeting his gaze. “He called because Simon is worried about…” She paused, waving a hand in the air while she searched for the right word. “You and me. Spending time together, I mean.”

  Hunter raised his eyebrows. “That doesn’t sound like Simon.”

  “I told John nothing was going on, of course.” She held up her hands with palms forward like Hunter should feel relieved. He didn’t.

  “Of course,” he scoffed, “Why would anyone think that?” When she nodded absently, he drummed his fingers on his knee and bit his tongue.

  Alexandra always dismissed his compliments and come-ons, but believed him implicitly when he mockingly said there was nothing between them. It was damn frustrating. He shrugged it off as he always did. Eventually he would tell her what she meant to him, but not today. Not when she looked like she was near a breakdown.

  “But he said something else,” he observed, and took a deep breath for patience. Whatever it was had hit her harder than usual. A flush crept over her ivory skin. He tried not to imagine how her skin would feel under his hands. Alexandra needed someone to listen right now, not fantasize.

  “Nothing important, he didn’t believe me about the relationship and told me it wouldn’t last. He was worried about how it would affect Simon.” She shrugged, her face a mask. “How did he put it? Oh yes. ‘You know you won’t hold his interest for long.’” The hurt in her eyes shimmered like tears. “As if holding interest was my most important role.”

  “He isn’t a good judge anyway.” Hunter jumped to his feet, pulling her out of her chair and against him in one smooth movement.

  Alexandra gasped as her soft curves molded against the hard planes of his body, but she didn’t pull away. He wrapped his arms around her. Damn, she felt good against him. He had wanted Alex in his arms, but he hadn’t counted on the sudden flare of passion which overtook his senses.

  Being near her always made him hard, but feeling her body against his had him so aroused it was almost painful. He knew she could feel the pressure of his erection against her stomach. Alexandra’s quickened pants puffed against his chest, in time with his own breathing.

  His heart raced as he pressed her soft, yielding body more tightly against him. “He’s a special kind of fool if he thinks you could ever be uninteresting. I’d love to show you how wrong he is.” His voice caught in his throat when shivers cascaded through her, little ripples under his hands.

  When she pushed against his chest, he only released her enough to look into her eyes. She didn’t fight or push him farther away. A delicate blush spread over her cheeks, but her eyes were cloudy with desire. When her pink tongue darted out to moisten her lips, he lowered his head.

  Their lips met, and the shock wave broke him down and remade him in one stroke. He let Alex set the pace, but when she shivered with pleasure and opened her lips eagerly, he was lost. He slanted his mouth over hers, plunging his tongue inside for a taste. Alexandra’s hands crept up his shoulders, small fingers making little divots in his flesh. She moaned and rubbed herself against him. Her taut nipples left trails like burning embers across his chest.

  He broke the kiss slowly and smiled at the dazed look on her face. “I’ve waited so long for this. Stay with me tonight.”

  When she didn’t answer, a spike of nerves ran through him. Had he ruined everything by moving too fast? He lowered his head again until their lips barely brushed.

  “Say yes,” he whispered as his breath feathered across her lips. Alex’s fingertips dug into the thick muscle of his arms as her mouth opened. He drank in her breath as she tilted her face up to meet his kiss.

  A beep sliced through the air, and Alexandra jerked out of his arms with a gasp. Her hands flew to the pager on her belt.

  “It’s the hospital. I have to go.” She didn’t look at him as she hurried into her apartment. She glanced back once before she closed the glass door between them. The rekindled nervousness and tension sent an arrow straight to his gut.

  Hunter sank into a chair beside the glass table, his lips still tingling with the taste of her kiss.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Alexandra

  Alexandra slapped the clipboard shut. Her lips pursed as she approached the Laotian couple in the waiting room, but she smoothed them into a smile. It was time to put on her reassuring doctor face.

  They stood, neither tall enough to reach Alexandra’s shoulder in height. She gave them her most reassuring smile. “It’s good you brought Kailea in when you did.” She didn’t have to consult the clipboard to see the scan results. They weren’t pretty. “It seems she inhaled some fungal spores, and they lodged in her upper nasal cavity. It’s a small colony, but the chemo has weakened her immune system. Her body is having trouble fighting it off. It was a more extensive infection than it appeared on the scans, but this surgeon working on your daughter is the best in the state. He is confident he will get it all.” She took a deep breath. “There are no indications it spread anywhere else. Just in case, I’d like to start a few weeks of antifungal treatments. I’m expecting she’ll kick this fast.”

  The woman before her, Mrs. Louangrath, shook her head. “I don’t understand. The first time Kailea had leukemia, she never got sick. We did everything the same, I scrubbed the whole house so she wouldn’t catch any germs. Doctor Rosel said she was the healthiest patient he had. She’s still in the hospital all the time.”

  Alexandra tried not to show surprise. Kailea’s mother rarely spoke. Her husband usually dealt with doctors and paperwork. When she said something, it usually meant she was upset.

  “It’s hard to say how any patient will react to chemotherapy.” Alexandra lowered her hands to let the clipboard fall to her side. “Treatments leave the immune system vulnerable. Kailea doesn’t have the ability to bounce back like she did at five years old.” She studied Mrs. Louangrath’s face. Those frown lines had once been light, but now they seemed chiseled into her skin. A lump formed in her throat at the thought of their child’s first bitter struggle with leukemia. Dr. Rosel’s notes had been brief, but full of accounts of Kailea’s near miss with leukemia years ago. Reliving it must be doubly painful. She swallowed against it, then continued. “Kailea’s fourteen now, and while she’s still young, it’s a little harder for her body to keep up. She’s taking the treatment well, but we’re using a higher dose. We want to make sure this doesn’t come back a third time.”

  “It shouldn’t have come back a second time!” Mrs. Louangrath’s eyes were tearful. “We spent everything we had to fight this leukemia the first time, and now we have to do it again? Did they even get it all at first?
”

  Kailea’s father caught his wife’s hands in his, then rested his forehead against hers. “Chanmali, you know they did,” he chided, his voice soft but choked with tears. “We all saw the scans, and we even checked with another doctor. They warned us this might happen.”

  Before he could say more, Kailea’s mother turned and snatched her purse from the chair. “I need a coffee,” she said. “Do you want anything?”

  He shook his head. His wife hurried down the white corridor and punched the call button for the elevator. When she stepped out of sight, he sighed and used his fingers to smooth the hair at his temples.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, then flopped into a chair and motioned for Alexandra to sit. “It’s just been a long few months. She will calm down soon.” He looked down the hall where his wife had gone, seeming lost.

  Alexandra laid her clipboard on her lap and propped up her elbows. “This is a stressful time, it’s understandable.”

  Mr. Louangrath played with the wrinkles in his brown slacks. He looked exhausted. “When we knew Kailea’s cancer was in remission, we planned to get back to our normal lives. Kailea wanted to go back to school, and started ice skating again. We were even planning a trip to Laos, to teach Kailea about her grandparents heritage.” His face was impassive despite his words. “Now, not even Chanmali can make her happy. My wife was always Kailea’s strength through the treatments, but it seems like Kailea’s giving up. She worries we won’t be able to afford the treatment, she never wants to eat, and she’s sick all the time. It’s hard on Chanmali, seeing a problem she can’t fix.”

  Alexandra nodded, lacing her fingers together. “It’s possible,” she began cautiously, “I can help you. Chemotherapy medication can cause depression, and that could be what’s happening here. We can adjust her medication to correct it, and if that’s not possible I can prescribe anti-depressants. Would you like me to look into that?”

  The dull hopefulness in the man’s face brought the lump back to her throat. “Please, anything you can do.” He rose out of his seat as Alexandra stood. “Thank you, we would be most grateful.”

  Alexandra rubbed the back of her neck to smooth out the tension. Kailea was safely through the surgery, and resting in her room. Alexandra had just visited, to check on the girl and tell her parents about the change of medications.

  Mrs. Louangrath hadn’t looked at Alexandra, despite her husband’s attempts. Alexandra didn’t mind. It was a natural part of the process, especially when cancer returned.

  There was nothing more she could do for the Louangrath family tonight. She moved to the next door, lifting the clipboard and skimming over the scribbled notes. It looked familiar. A little too familiar.

  “You’ve already gone to see them three times, honey.”

  Alexandra turned to see Raul behind her, his arms crossed and one hip jutted out so far it would make a nice shelf. Most people stood like that when they were upset. Raul did it because it was Tuesday. The nurse assistant’s dark brows were raised high as he looked her over, a doubtful expression on his dusky-complexioned face.

  She was sure she looked worse for wear. Their wing was understaffed until Dr. Muller got back from paternity leave, and she’d been covering his shifts as well as her own. He’d promised he’d only be two more days.

  “Visited them three times, are you sure?” She let the clipboard fall back into the receptacle on the wall. “I was just noticing it looked a little familiar. Maybe it’s time for some coffee.”

  Raul smirked, his head jerking back in a silent laugh. “I’ll go get one, you’ve got a phone call in the break room.”

  “Simon?”

  When he nodded and flapped his hands to shoo her away, she didn’t need any more encouragement. She avoided mixing personal life and work, but this was an exception.

  “Hey, mom.” Simon’s voice was almost drowned out by crackling on the line.

  “Hello, sweetie! How’s it going over there?” She curled into the couch. There was no comfortable position, so she pulled her legs up and concentrated on listening.

  “It’s great! I wanted to call you before class and let you know,” he began, and Alexandra looked at her watch in disbelief. If it was almost time for class there, it was almost midnight here. No wonder she needed coffee. “My painting won this competition thingy, and it’s going to be featured in a magazine.”

  He had worked on his painting for three weeks during class, and she still hadn’t seen a picture of it. “Competition thingy, huh? I thought it wasn’t done yet?” She looked up as Raul came in with a styrofoam cup of coffee, then mouthed “Thank you,” as he handed it over.

  Simon cleared his throat. “I’m not. At least, I thought I wasn’t.” He fell silent.

  Alexandra was in the middle of a sip of coffee, so the silence stretched as she swallowed. “Who saved you from the ‘just one more little tweak’ monster?”

  “Uh, so there’s kinda this girl,” Simon began, and Alexandra choked. “Mom, are you okay?”

  She barely managed to swallow before spasmodic coughs shook her. Simon? The kid who avoided women like they were a strange species? Seeing a girl? “Yes, I’m fine,” she gasped into the phone. “Just a little surprised. Who is she? What’s she like?”

  “She’s pretty cool. Rosa. A teacher’s assistant. She wasn’t supposed to see it yet, but she did.” Simon hesitated again, but this time Alexandra didn’t break the silence. “Rosa’s got a tattoo. Uh, on her arm, not like, somewhere weird.”

  “Maybe you should send me a picture.”

  “Of the tattoo?”

  Alexandra laughed. “Oh honey, I miss you. No, of you and Rosa together.”

  “I miss you too, mom. I’ll send one if you send a picture of you.”

  “Deal.”

  “So how is everything at home? How is Hunter?”

  Simon asked about Hunter every time he called, just catching up on news. This time the mention of Hunter’s name sent her mind zinging back to the kiss they had shared earlier that evening.

  Goosebumps rose on Alexandra’s arms. Just thinking about the hot press of his lips against hers sent a rush of heat through her body. His kiss had been like sparks on her tongue, making her feel weak and powerful all at once. When he’d asked her to spend the night, she’d wanted to say yes. He had barely touched her, and she had come unraveled in his arms.

  “Mom?”

  Simon’s prompting startled Alexandra out of her reverie, and she shifted on the couch. “Sorry honey, I got a little distracted. Everything is great, Hunter is doing well.”

  “That’s good. How is - oops.” A shuffling sound interrupted him. “Mom, got to go. Class time. Love you.”

  “Love you too!”

  The dial tone droned in her ear. Did he even wait to hear me say goodbye? With a shrug, she returned the phone to its receiver and took another sip of coffee.

  Later that night, Alexandra shuffled to her car. The caffeine had long ago burned away, despite a second cup. Her purse dangled from one hand, heels from the other. She wore a pair of flats she kept handy just for days like this, but even the relief of removing those damn heels didn’t help tonight.

  Her mental calendar ticked off another day before Dr. Muller’s return. While Alexandra was glad he was home with his new wife and baby, the constant ache in her feet insisted she take a day off soon.

  She turned sideways to edge between her car and a big yellow truck, then paused with her hand halfway to the door handle. The car’s blue paint was gouged with several thick white stripes. Great.

  Alexandra slid into the driver seat and rested her head against the steering wheel. Kids got into mischief sometimes in the hospital parking tower, but usually her little blue car was left alone. She had always thought it was because this car wasn’t as flashy as the others, but maybe her luck had run out today.

  She patted the dashboard. “I’ll get you fixed up, I promise.” Her attempt at reassurance left a dark hand print in the thin coat of dust
on her dash. Alexandra winced. She brought the car in for maintenance like clockwork, but how long had it been since she cleaned it?

  She and Simon had cleaned the car together after they moved from Denver to Portland. It had almost been a ritual for them, cleaning out the last bits of John from their lives. Had that really been the last time? The hand print glared back accusingly until she wiped it away. “All right, I get it. I’ll take care of it,” she muttered, then started the car.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Alexandra

  Two days later, Alexandra hurried down the narrow hallway of the apartment complex. Dr. Muller had just returned, and she was free. After weeks of double shifts, she intended to dive into a pair of fuzzy slippers and yoga pants until further notice.

  The apartment keys jingled as she fussed with them. Why were there so many keys on this ring? She didn’t look at the varnished wood door adjacent to hers. Hunter’s. Her cheeks burned as she remembered their dinner on the balcony. Two days ago. The day they kissed.

  “Hello there, Alex!”

  Alexandra yelped, the keys dropping to the floor as she spun. Behind her, Mrs. Dail stood with her hand to her chest, ghostly blue eyes wide behind coke-bottle lenses. Her frizzy, blue-tinged white hair gave her the appearance of a startled poodle in a flower dress. If the poor woman hadn’t looked so scared, Alexandra would have laughed.

  “Sorry,” she stammered, scooping up her keys. “I’m a little on edge right now, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  Mrs. Dail recovered quickly, and raised a pudgy finger. “Now don’t you worry dear, it was I who startled you. I don’t know where my manners are, I know better than to go sneaking around hallways and really it’s not my idea of a good time, not when I could be doing something useful.”

  The long-winded woman stopped to take a breath, and Alexandra seized a chance to sneak a word in edgewise. “It’s all right, so did you need something?” She knew better than to interrupt, it always confused the older woman, but today she didn’t care.